Four Thoughts by MEN...

Thought 1
When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?

Thought 2
The average man's life consists of:
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going, Forty years of having his wife ask the same question; and at the end, the mourners wondering too.

Thought 3
A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him.. The man was astonished.

He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.

The man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered. "Oh, yeah?" the man asked "And where the hell were you when I got married?"

AND….
This is the Best !!!

Thought 4
Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand. Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.

The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something. So he announced "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life." Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, "My daughter finally, and finally returned my credit card to me."
The whole audience including the priest erupted in laughter .......... all except the poor Groom!!

Everything is for GOOD !!!

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.

Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements, and to store his few possessions.

But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky. The worst had happened; everything was lost. He was stunned with grief and anger. "God, how could you do this to me!" he cried.

Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him. "How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers. "We saw your smoke signal," they replied.

MORAL: It is easy to get discouraged when things are going bad. But we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of pain and suffering. Remember, next time your little hut is burning to the ground it just may be a smoke signal that summons the grace of God.

The Former or Latter ???

Dad used to give us a merely Rs. 500/- per month,
in that we were not only able to eat stomachs fill,
but we were able to save too!!!

Now we earn a sum of 20K+, we have no idea
where it goes, let alone saving it!!

Which was better, the former or the latter???


6 subjects per year, 6 different teachers!
One project since we joined
and just one manager!!

Which was better, the former or the latter???


We used to make notes;
we used to study for ranks!!
Now we scan thru our mails;
we struggle for our ratings!!!

Which was better, the former or the latter???


We have still not forgotten the people
in the next section!!!
Now we don't even know who sits
in the next cubicle!!!

Which was better, the former or the latter???


After getting back from a tiring play,
we used to do our home work!!
Now who knows/cares about home;
all we do is just work!!!

Which was better, the former or the latter???


We knew our history and economics!!
Now let alone reading books,
we don't even catch up with the daily news!!!

Which was better, the former or the latter???


We had an aim in life;
behind our backs we had our teachers!!
Now we have no idea about the
future nor do we find any
one who would tell us anything!!!

Now just ask yourself,
which was better,
the former or the latter????


"Everyone thinks of changing the world but no one thinks of changing himself..."

மனதை நெருடியவை...

எங்களது சம்பளம்

உங்கள் கண்களை உறுத்தியது...

வாழ்க்கை முறை கண்டு 

வயிறு எரிந்தீர்கள்...

கலாசாரத்தை கெடுத்தோம் 

என்றொரு புகாரும் உண்டு...

பப்பூ'களில் புகுந்து உதைத்தீர்கள்...

சினிமா எடுத்தீர்கள்...

பத்திரிகைகளில் கிழிதீர்கள்...

பெண் கொடுக்க மறுத்தீர்கள்... 

எங்கள் சம்பாதியத்தின் 

பெரும் பகுதியை வரி என புடுங்கினீர்கல்...

நங்கள் அந்நிய தேசங்களில் இருந்து

ஈட்டி வந்த பணத்தில் 

பாலங்கள் கட்டினீர்கள் 

"இந்திய ஒளிர்கிறது" என விளம்பரம் செய்தீர்கள்...

இதோ கும்பல் கும்பலாக

நடுத்தெருவுக்கு வந்துவிட்டோம்

சந்தோசம் தானே சகோதரர்களே ???

உங்கள் சட்டைகளை பற்றிக் கேட்கிறோம்...

"கணீனிமொழி கற்றதன்றி

வேறென்ன பிழை செய்தோம்?" 

-- ஆனந்த விகடனில் -> செல்வெந்திரன்

Email Etiquettes...

1) The font of mail should be Verdana and font size should be 9.5 or 10.

2) The mail should have a Pyramid Structure i.e. it should contain:

*Situation     : What's the current situation is
*Action items: What you expect from the reader of the 

                     mail to-do
*Information  : The information you want to give to the reader
*Conclusion   : Conclude with a Thank You.

3) For writing use only Black or Blue color. For highlighting purpose make the word bold. Avoid using Red color as Red signifies danger, so use it when urgent.

4) For greetings in mail:

*For Americans: use Hi
*For Europeans: use Hello
*For Asians: use Dear

To be more formal we could use Dear Mr. /Ms. followed by Last name or Full name. We should not use Dear Mr. /Ms. followed by First name alone.

5) We should not put '/' in greetings like Hi X/Y. Instead we should say Hi X and Y.

6) We should not use 'Thanks and Regards'. Instead we can say:

Thank you
Regards


7) For requesting something we should not use can, instead we should use could..

8) We should not write 'Please find the attached file' because the reader does not have to find or search for the file in the mail it's already there. So instead we should write
   'The file has been attached for your reference'.

9) We should not use sentences like 'As per your mail' because 'per' is used only with units like per Kg etc. Instead we should write 'According to your mail'.

10) We should use parallel structure. Parallelism enables readers to read documents more efficiently. For e.g. The analysis will include planning, organizing, dividing and assessment
     (Instead assessment we should write Assessing) of turnaround functions.

11) In our mails we often write 'Please revert back'. Instead we should only write 'Please revert'.

12) For the Signature in mail, if we are sending to people in our company only then we should not write our company name in the signature because they already know that we are part of the same company but if we are sending mail to an external party like client etc then we should write our company name in the signature because there we have to brand our company name in front of others.

NOTE:

We may not use all of these specified, but can adopt things which are all suitable for us.

Days of our life

Monday             

Tuesday            

Wednesday         

Thursday           

Friday                

 
Friday at 17:00       

Saturday......   12:00.....      2:00          03:00 


Sunday all day         

HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT WEEK AHEAD! 

Take care of your health...

Answer the phone by LEFT ear.

Do not drink coffee TWICE a day.

Do not take pills with COOL water.
Do not have HUGE meals after 5pm.
Reduce the amount of OILY food you consume.

Drink more WATER in the morning, less at night.

Keep your distance from hand phone CHARGERS.

Do not use headphones/earphone for LONG period of time.

Best sleeping time is from 10pm at night to 6am in the morning.

Do not lie down immediately after taking medicine before sleeping.

When battery is down to the LAST grid/bar, do not answer the phone as the radiation is 1000 times.

"Prevention is Better than Cure"

The Law of the Garbage Truck

One day I hopped into a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean he was really friendly.

So I asked, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!" This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call "The Law of the Garbage Truck."

 

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the street.

The bottom line is that successful people don't let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so… Love the people who treat you right. Forgive the ones who don't. 

Life is 10% what you make it and 90% how you take it!

For girls searching software bridegrooms,,, too gooood & & JUST For FUN !!!

A conversation abt the process of selecting a software bridegroom….

Enjoy reading….

Vidhya: hey!  what is the matter you have called up all of a sudden?

Nithya : do u remember that my parents gave my horoscope, to search for a suitable match, to many people? So many horoscopes of the groom has come.. in that 4-5 seems to match.. I don’t know which one to select, I am confused because of it.

Vidhya:  what is the confusion about?

Nithya: horoscopes of many software engineers have come. It seems now a days, the software guys are wanting to marry girls in the other field. That’s  I why I don’t know whom I must select among this. You are a software engineer na pls give me some suggestion ..

Vidhya: not a problem at all. So tell me the position that each one holds.

Nithya: first is a Manager.

Vidhya: manager?? Then he will showcast himself that he is busy always. But he will not do anything properly. He will get u 1 kg of rice and ask you to prepare for the whole area say a village. He will get you mutton and ask you to prepare chicken 65. Even if you protest telling you can’t make it, he’ll not accept. He will tell you to work hard day and night to prepare it. He will also tell he’ll provide you with the night cab. Even if you ask how can I prepare chicken 65 out of it by sitting day and night he will not accept.

Nithya: ohh..so dangerous he is!! Then I must escape. Next is a Test engineer.

Vidhya: he is more dangerous than the other person. Whatever you do he will correctly tell only the fault in it. Even if you try to surprise him with 10 variety of food, he will tell the item which does not have salt in it. If you ask him “will you not at least tell that it is good”, he will reply back saying it is your duty to make it good so why must I tell that. He is sooo good …

Nithya: then a NO to him also. Next is the Performance test engineer.

Vidhya: he is another specimen.. even if everything is good, he will ask why did it take this much time. If you take 10 minutes to make a coffee, he will question you asking why you have taken 10 min for a coffee which can be done within 5 min. Even if you say that he is talking about the instant coffee while you have made the filter coffee, he will not accept. The same will be with all the work you do. You must not think about this person if you want to do make up in your life !!!

Nithya: then! you mean to say that we should not marry software guys??

Vidhya: who said like that?? In software there is one more group. They are called the DEVELOPERS group. How much ever you hit them they will bear.

Nithya: then tell about them.

Vidhya: you don’t have to do anything. They will do everything themselves. If we sit back and just boost them it is enough. But the problem with them is- they will say “I  know it” whatever you ask them.

Even that is ok. They will bear how much ever you hit them but the condition is you must keep saying “you are too good” after hitting them every time.

Nithya: this is superb. Then we must search for this kind of a groom….

 NOTE: This blog is purely for fun & enjoyment and any illegitimate thinking can be avoided !!!

Proverbs REDEFINED......

• Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
• To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.
• The road to success??.. Is always under construction.
• Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
• In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.
• All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening or married to someone else.
• Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.
• Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never works.
• If at first you don't succeed?. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
• You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.
• Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.
• As soon as you mention something?? if it is good, it is taken?. If it is bad, it happens.
• He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.
• If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?? the bus is still late.
• Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.
• When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.
• If you have paper, you don't have a pen??. If you have a pen, you don't have paper?? if you have both, no one calls.

Especially for engg. Students----

• If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.
• You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.
• The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.
• After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be more crowded than the other.
• If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.
• Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker.

The BOSS...

 

Parrots

A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present. 
The next day he went to the pet shop and saw 
three identical parrots in a cage. 

He asked the clerk, "how much for the parrot on the right?

The owner said it was Rs. 2500. 
"Rs. 2500.", the man said. "Well what does he do? 
"He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000, responds the clerk.. 
"He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters."

The man then asked what the second parrot cost.

The clerk replied, Rs. 5000, but he not only knows Office 2000,

but is an expert computer programmer.

Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last parrot. 
The clerk replied, "Rs. 10,000." 
Curious as to how a bird can cost Rs. 10,000, the man asked what this bird's specialty was. 
The clerk replies, "Well to be honest I haven't seen him do anything.. 

But the other two call him 

"BOSS"!!

நட்புக்கு கூட கற்புகள் உண்டு நல்லா தெரிஞ்சுக்கடா!

ஒன்பதரை மணி காலேஜிக்கு

ஒவ்வொருத்தனா கெளம்பும் போது

ஒருத்தன் மட்டும் தூங்கிகிட்டிருப்பான்

ஒன்பது இருபது ஆகுற வரைக்கும்...

அடிச்சி புடிச்சி கெளம்புறப்போ

அரை குறையா குளிச்சதுண்டு

பத்து நிமிஷ பந்தயத்துல

பட படன்னு சாப்டதுண்டு

பதட்டதோட சாப்பிட்டாலும்

பந்தயத்துல தோத்ததில்ல,

லேட்டா வர்ற நண்பனுக்கு

பார்சல் மட்டும் மறந்ததில்ல!

விறுவிறுன்னு நடந்து வந்து

காலேஜ் Gate நெருங்குறப்போ

'வெறுப்படிக்கிதுடா மச்சான்'னு

ஒருத்தன் பொலம்பி தொலச்சாக்கா,

வேற எதுவும் யோசிக்காம

வேகவேகமா திரும்பிடுவோம்

வெட்டியா ரூம்ல அரட்டை அடிக்க,

இல்ல 'வெற்றி' தியேட்டர்ல படம் பாக்க!

'கஷ்டப்பட்டு' காலேஜிக்கு போனா

கடங்கார professor கழுத்தறுப்பான்...

assignment எழுதாத பாவத்துக்கு

நாள் முழுக்க நிக்கவச்சி தாக்கறுப்பான்!

கேலி கிண்டல் பஞ்சமில்ல,

கூத்து கும்மாள குறையுமில்ல,

எல்லாருக்கும் சேத்துதான் punishmentன்னா

H.O.Dய கூட விட்டதில்ல!

ஈ அடிச்சான் காபி இந்தபக்கம்னா

அத அடிப்பான் காபி அந்தபக்கம்...

ஒருத்தன் மட்டும் படிச்சிட்டு வந்து

ஒன்பதுபேர் பாஸ் ஆனதுண்டு!

பசியில யாரும் தவிச்சதில்ல

காரணம் - தவிக்க விட்டதில்ல...

டீக்கடையில கடன்வச்சி குடிச்சாலும்

சரக்கடிக்க பஞ்சமே வந்ததில்ல!

அம்மா ஆசையா போட்ட செயினும்

மாமா முறையா போட்ட மோதிரமும்

fees கட்ட முடியாத நண்பனுக்காக

அடகு கடை படியேற அழுததில்ல ...

சட்டைய மாத்தி போட்டுக்குவோம்

சாதி சமயம் பாத்ததில்ல,

மூஞ்சிமேல காலபோட்டு தூங்கினாலும்

முகவரி என்னன்னு கேட்டதில்ல!

படிச்சாலும் படிக்கலன்னாலும்

பிரிச்சி வச்சி பாத்ததில்ல...

அரியர்ஸ் வெச்சாலும் வெக்கலன்னாலும்

அந்தஸ்த்து பாத்த ஞாபகமில்ல!

வேல தேடி அலையுறப்போ

வேதனைய பாத்துப்புட்டோம்

'வெட்டி ஆபிஸர்'னு நெஜமாவே

மாறி மாறி சிரிச்சிகிட்டோம்!

ஒருத்தன் மட்டும் சம்பாதிக்க ஆரம்பிச்சு

ஒன்பது பேரும் உக்காந்து சாப்பிட்டப்போ

மனசு கட்டபொம்மனா நண்பனுக்கு நன்றி சொல்ல

கண்ணு எட்டப்பனா கண்ணீர் சிந்தி காட்டி குடுக்கும்...

பக்குவமா இத கண்டும் காணாம

நண்பன் தட்டி கொடுக்க நெனைக்கிறப்போ

'சாப்பாட்ல காரம்டா மச்சான்'னு

சமாளிச்சி எழுந்து போவோம்...

நாட்கள் நகர,

வருஷங்கள் ஓடுது,

எப்போதாவது மட்டுந்தான் இ-மெயிலும் வருகுது

"Hi da machan... how are you?" வுன்னு...

தங்கச்சி கல்யாணம்,

தம்பி காலேஜி,

அக்காவோட சீமந்தம்,

அம்மாவோட ஆஸ்த்துமா,

personal loan interest,

housing loan EMI,

share market சருக்கல்,

appraisal டென்ஷன்,

இந்த கொடுமையெல்லாம் பத்தாம

'இன்னிக்காவது பேச மாட்டாளா?' ன்னு

இஞ்சிமறப்பா போல ஒரு காதல்,

எப்படியோ வாழ்க்க ஓடுது ஏடாகூடமா,

நேரம் பாக்க நேரமில்ல போதாகாலமா!

இ-மெயில் இருந்தாலும்

இண்டர்னெட் இருந்தாலும்

கம்பெனியில ஓசி phone இருந்தாலும்

கையில calling card இருந்தாலும்

நேரம் மட்டும் கெடைக்கிறதில்ல

நண்பனோட குரல கேக்க

நெனச்சாலும் முடியறதில்ல

பழையபடி வாழ்ந்து பாக்க!

அலைபேசி இருந்தும் அழைக்க முடியாம போனாலும்

orkut இருந்தும் scrap பன்ன முடியாம போனாலும்

'available' ன்னு தெரிஞ்சும் chat பன்ன முடியாம போனாலும்

'ஏண்டா பேசல?' ன்னு கோச்சிக்க தெரியல..

இத பெரிய பிரச்சனையா யோசிக்கவும் முடியல!

கல்யாணத்துக்கு கூப்பிட்டு

வரமுடியாமா போனாலும்,

அம்மா தவறின சேதி கேட்டதும்

கூட்டமா வந்தெறங்கி,

தோள் குடுத்து தூக்கி நிறுத்தி

பால் எடுத்தவரை கூட இருந்து

சொல்லாம போக வேண்டிய இடத்துல

செதுக்கிவச்சிட்டு போன என் தோழர்கள்

தேசம் கடந்து போனாலும்

பாசம் மறந்து போகாது!

பேசக் கூட மறந்தாலும்

வாசம் மாறி போகாது!

வருஷம் பல கழிஞ்சாலும்

வரவேற்பு குறையாது!

வசதி வாய்ப்பு வந்தாலும்

'மாமா' 'மச்சான்' மாறாது!